Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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