oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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