You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
