I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
