I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
