I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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