Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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