How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
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Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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