I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
