So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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