fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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