i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
