A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
