Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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