My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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