I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
