they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
