I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
