What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize