no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
