Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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