I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Congratulations! We have a period
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
