...so i touched it.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize