I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
