google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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