I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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