On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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