2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
