Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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