Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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