Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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