dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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