my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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