All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
