Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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