Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
