while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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