Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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