I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
