Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
