I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
