btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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