ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag