My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina