If i come over, it means nothing
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.