There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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