how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Text me some of your sweat
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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