I have demons in me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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