I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
