guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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