I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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