i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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