yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize