He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
