Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
