1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think people are normalizing furries
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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