Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
