Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
