Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
