Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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