Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
